Tanya Franklin: Hey, I'm Tanya H. Franklin and welcome to Tricks My Dog Taught Me, a podcast for lighthearted and occasional deep conversations with family and friends around my journey as a dog mom to my little guy, Zack the Toy Poodle, which prompted me to self publish my first book, ⁓ My Dog Taught Me, ⁓ I share some of my insights through poetry and weekly life lesson. You know they say the hardest part of any journey is the first step but often it's the nudge before the step that matters the most. So today I invited my kind, intelligent, and beautiful niece Mackenzie Purnell, a college student navigating that major life transition from thinking about it to getting out there and doing it. So, Kenzie, thank you so much for joining me. I'm going to discuss week 14's poem, A Little Tug. So what I'm going to do first before we get into our conversation is just recite the poem so you have some context with it. Okay. All right. So here we go. May I offer you a little advice when a hug for comfort simply won't do.

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay.

Tanya Franklin: Don't choose to do nothing and risk the price. A little tug is the ultimate move. No need to be forceful, just enough. Let everyone know you're unyielding. Circumstances may begin to get rough. Arduous tasks in which you are dealing. Make you pull in a certain direction. Fill the unbridled passion deep within. Dogginess must be in your possession. decisiveness will not be your friend. Trust your intuition with where to go. When the moment comes to tug, you will know. So I was inspired by Zack because he has no problem tugging me in a direction that he wants to go when we're out walking. He was just doing that earlier today.

Mackenzie Purnell: you

Tanya Franklin: He wants to keep walking because, it's a nice day. We're going to keep walking. If he sees that we're heading towards our block to go home, he will give me a little tug in the other direction. And so it just made me think about us as humans and whether it's a literal assist or a metaphorical nudge. Sometimes the smallest tug is what makes the biggest difference. So, you know, you're a college student now you're finishing.

Mackenzie Purnell: Yes.

Tanya Franklin: your second semester, so which is amazing. So when you think about a nudge, I'm just wondering, do you picture a gentle suggestion from someone or maybe it's a sudden wake up call.

Mackenzie Purnell: feel like when I think of nudges, I think of it more as like a sudden wake up call. I don't feel like I'm really getting a whole lot of pushes. get more like, one day I'll just be like, hmm, I really need to get on my stuff. I really need to do better. So I feel like to me it's more like a wake up call. If I really see my life, I think it's really my environment. Usually when I start seeing this dorm for example, sometimes when I start seeing, oh, this is messy. This is messy. This is messy. My clothes aren't washed. This isn't done. It's like a wake up call to me like I'm losing it and I need to get back to the space where I'm like back to being clean and yeah. So that's how it is for me.

Tanya Franklin: Yeah, yeah, well that's good that she yes, yes, yes, you know nothing sometimes we all have people in our lives whose nudges Might carry the most weight as well like so for me. It's some family members and my friend Michelle She's the one who encouraged me to self publish the book and then I have some friends who Motivated me to do my first Spartan race and now I'm just absolutely hooked. I remember like way back in the day

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Yes. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: This is even before you were born when I used to do raps and shows and things of that nature and I would have people nudging me I was very shy but people would nudge me like you've got this you're good and I just get on out there so I'm wondering about you You know, do you have people in your life who you know giving you that nudge?

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We're there I feel like for that it be my mom or maybe probably my friends. I feel like it's either my mom or my friends. I feel like they can really like, I don't know, when I feel like I care about somebody's opinion on something, it really means a lot to me. So sometimes I won't ask them certain things because I know their opinion is going to mean a lot to me. So sometimes I use it to my advantage. If I know I don't want their opinion, I will not tell them. But if I really want their opinion on something, I'll tell them.

Tanya Franklin: Mm-hmm.

Mackenzie Purnell: and usually they'll tell me like, ⁓ Kenzie like, da da da, da da da. So I'd be like, ⁓ yeah, like, okay, that makes sense. But yeah, so I kind of use it to my advantage on what I need to ask them about.

Tanya Franklin: Now is it that you don't want to know or that you know what they're going to say and you don't want to get the nudge from them?

Mackenzie Purnell: Sometimes, yeah, sometimes I know what they're going to say. Like, if I already know what this person, like my mom for example, if I ask her something, I nine times out of 10 already know what she's gonna say because I know like how she is. So, I've lived with her my whole life, so I know how she is with certain things. So sometimes with her, I'll be a little, she might be a little different with it. But so I'll go to my friends, but I feel like my friends would be like a little, I'll go to my mom. Like it really all depends on the situation.

Tanya Franklin: Mm-hmm. Yeah Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That makes sense. That makes sense I mean I know for me like as a mom as well I'm sure that Quinn already gets a sense of what I might say if she comes to me ask me about something but definitely even like as a professor I would say I definitely would love to think and I hope that I'm giving out a fair share of nudges to students and giving them hope and that they've been impacted in a positive way and

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: say the same applies to loved ones as well like Quinn and ⁓ you know uncle Sean or even you for example and so to be able to be that little bit of encouragement or for support for someone that means a lot to me so I'm wondering has the shoe ever been on the other foot where you've been the person that gave someone a nudge that maybe changed their direction in a positive way

Mackenzie Purnell: Yes. Mm-hmm. ⁓ I feel like I'm that for a lot of people. I always try to like give people nudges, especially when I see like they're like down or like they like clearly need some type of guidance because not everybody has that. So I try to like, if I know I've been through it, I definitely try to like, you know, say something to people. So I'm like for my roommate, for example, ⁓ like when it comes to like men, she could be a little gullible. So I have given her some advice because I don't want to see her go down a path that's like, you know. I want to see her do good in life. I want to see her strive in life. I sometimes help her with that. even for my friends, for example, in their college life, sometimes they'll ask me stuff that's going on with them in college. And I'm giving the best of my advice that I know of, but that's all I know. So I try to help where I can. So I'll nudge my friends if need be, basically.

Tanya Franklin: Mm-hmm. And how does it make you feel if they come back to you and you're like, wow, thank you. I appreciated that. They may not use the word nudge, but they still might say, that little bit of advice or that suggestion, it helped me.

Mackenzie Purnell: Yeah. I think that it feels good to me. feels like, well, they really appreciated my advice and used it. And I feel like that feels good to anybody to hear, oh, somebody liked my advice. They like what I told them. So it feels good to me. I definitely love it. I always like people come to me for advice because I just like be knowing stuff. I feel like, yeah.

Tanya Franklin: Haha So know something I would also say is it's amazing how a conversation or even an event it can be a sign I always look at signs from the universe as giving me a green light that I need to go after something so for me most recently it was starting this podcast after I self-published my book I said I want to have something that just keeps the momentum going give me an opportunity to interact with family and friends And I was a little nervous at first and then I got a nudge from a few people like, just do it, just do it. Who cares what anyone thinks, just do it. And so I'm wondering, have you ever had a conversation or maybe there's an event or something that transpired that gave you the green light, whether it was to pick your major at school, to do some activity or something.

Mackenzie Purnell: Mmm. Okay, I do have one. So for my English class last semester, I mean have the same English teacher, but it was a different class last semester. It was creative writing class. And I remember she was doing these like poem things. She was like, oh, like, cause she like would always tell me, she's like, you're a really good writer. I would really like if you would write a poem, but I was like, I ain't doing that. I ain't writing no poem. I'm not going to do that. And then. friend that was in that class, she's like, you should do it. Like I've read some of your stuff. It's really, really good. And I was like, maybe I'll do it. So I did end up writing the poem, you know, after I get in the nudge, think I was just in my head about it. Like, oh, somebody might read it and be like, told her to write this poetry? I don't know. It's just sometimes, and this has been in a lot of my sociology class, actually, like where my sociology teacher, she was telling us about like how sometimes we perceive different things. Like we think that somebody would think like this and we're like, why are we? And she was like, well, why do you think like that? And sometimes it's just us being in our head and really nobody's thinking like that. We just have this self doubt about ourselves. I definitely like this bit has happened to me a lot of times.

Tanya Franklin: And I have good news and bad news for you and that is that even at my age I still am in my head. Not everybody's that way, but I still am in my head. What are they gonna think about this? Should I do this? I don't know about this. So sometimes I will say that it's died down some and I might not stay there as long as I once did, but it certainly still comes up. But I feel like the power of the nudge.

Mackenzie Purnell: Hehehehe Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: is what helps to get me through. And then just that rewarding feeling, wow, I did it! And what I thought was going to happen didn't, if it was some...

Mackenzie Purnell: Yes. Yeah, like, yeah, because when I gave her my poem, she said, this is really nice. This is really good. And like, and I think my, I think my poem has something to do with like, about like insecurities and stuff. And so like, she wanted us to have like little objects. So I brought in a mirror. She was like, I really like this. Like, did you put a mirror? And I was like, oh, thank you. Like, she was really sweet. And a lot of people went over there and they liked it. So I thought that was nice.

Tanya Franklin: Mm-hmm. So it was like on display? ⁓ wow! That's really cool!

Mackenzie Purnell: Yeah, like it's our own display thing. So everybody could walk around and read everybody's poems. So it was really cool.

Tanya Franklin: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's cool. And so like even in speaking about things on display, I know that sometimes I'm scrolling on social media and I might come across a 30 second clip or I might see a powerful quote somewhere and it might just give me that little nudge that I need. And for instance, I have a circumstance where sometimes there's things that don't necessarily go as planned.

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: and was listening to this other podcast, this ⁓ podcast, it's Mel Robbins, and I really enjoyed listening to her podcast and the person she had on there actually a poet Ocean Long. And I don't want to misquote him, but he was saying for the most part that you can't have the same multiple emotions going on at the same time. So that if you're in a negative space or you're feeling sad or upset,

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: about something to try to think about something that gives you joy because if you're thinking about something that gives you joy then the sad thoughts the angry thoughts cannot reside there at the same time and so that was a quote that actually gave me a nudge in a way where and this was recently to just stand up for myself in circumstances where I feel like maybe even as an adult maybe things aren't necessarily going the way that

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: they should because some people are trying to take advantage or something like that. And just in hearing that quote, gave me the nudge to not back down. And sometimes I revert to being how I was when I was younger, which can be a bit passive. And that quote really did it for me. So it was definitely a catalyst for me. And, but then there's times where I could even be just someone giving me a pep talk.

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm. Yes. Yeah, those hot dogs be working. ⁓

Tanya Franklin: before doing a race or before getting on stage or something like that. And it's one of the reasons that when I do post my rills about my fitness videos, I usually will include a quote so that it's not just me working out, but it's my hope that someone may see the video. And every once in a while, and it's usually someone I don't even know, and they'll comment and say, wow, I really love this quote you used.

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: and that it may touch them in a positive way. So I'm wondering has a speaker or maybe a video or even a quote you came across ⁓ given you some motivation towards something that you maybe wanted to accomplish or even if you were just maybe it was a weird type of day for you and then someone said something and it sparked something in you.

Mackenzie Purnell: I'm trying to think here. I think I actually have some of my notes actually, because I do like to write down stuff that I like. When I see it, I be like, oh, I like that. Let me see if there's anything in here. Oh, I did like this one. It says, if you cannot confront the realities of yourself, how can you connect to the experiences of others? I like that one, because on that day, felt like I just wasn't like, I don't know, I was just in a mood that day, and I was just like, oh, everybody's just annoying me.

Tanya Franklin: Mm-hmm.

Mackenzie Purnell: And then it was just like, and then I saw this quote and it was like, I was like, this is right. it's like my one friend, she was just going through something and I was just like, well, if I can't connect to her, like I need to like, I just need to feel like how she's feeling. I just felt like sometimes like we have to like tell ourselves, like, why are we acting like this? Like, why am I being like this? Like sometimes you have to like really just talk to yourself and like just be like, why, like why am I feeling these emotions? And then, cause I don't know, sometimes I feel like I'm my own therapist and I just be like, man, like why am I, why am I being like this?

Tanya Franklin: Mmm.

Mackenzie Purnell: I'm being like, excuse my language, an a-hole. I'm being weird. I need to fix this. So sometimes I have to recalibrate myself. I have to tell myself, no, what you're doing is wrong. And it's like, some people can't admit when they're wrong. So I try to do it when I know I am being a little wrong here. So sometimes I do have to kind of tell myself, no, that was wrong and you need to fix it. And so I think that quote really did speak to me when I saw it. So yeah.

Tanya Franklin: That's a good one. And I love the phrasing that you use. Sometimes we have to recalibrate. I love that. That's awesome, Kenzie. And it made me think about the inner tug. And for me, it's spirituality. And I feel like it plays a significant role in the direction that I'm headed. And when I say spirituality, it doesn't necessarily have to be like for a person who subscribes to a specific religion. Perhaps it is, but even still, I think the idea of

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: just in knowing that I'm not perfect and I'm just going to try my best to align myself with positivity and to do that through my actions and the people that I interact with and so there's times when something's just tugging on my heartstrings and I'm trying to decide should I do this I'm not sure what should I

Mackenzie Purnell: Yeah. Yes, I'd love that. Yes!

Tanya Franklin: And so I might pray about it. And I like how you said, ⁓ let me see. I sometimes put down the quotes. So there might be a quote and a lot of times I'll I'll post different ones in my office and it might be just writing in my journal and something else I post in my office is if a student sends me a message or if they give me a card or something, they're like, I really enjoyed.

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: this semester I will post it so then if I'm having a day where maybe a student is not so happy with me they might say something where I'm like I'm horrible and then I'm like I look at it and I'm like well I'm not that bad because somebody wrote me but it helps to guide me because I think sometimes I can't speak for you but I definitely want to ask you that I might get caught up in following just what my emotions are telling me

Mackenzie Purnell: Yeah. You I guess that can't be that bad. Yeah.

Tanya Franklin: and not so much in a logical way. And so I find that if I can balance it with my emotions, logic and spirituality, that that definitely helps me when I might need some guidance and I'm in search for that direction. Like when I'm at the crossroad and I'm trying to determine which way should I go with this. So I'm wondering when you're having that inner tug, when you have a decision to make.

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. in

Tanya Franklin: It could be something very basic where you might just say, I want to eat today. Or sometimes it's more complex than that. And you're like, ⁓ geez, this could really change the direction that I'm headed depending on what I select. So I know that's a really deep question, but I'm wondering, has this ever presented itself to you?

Mackenzie Purnell: Hehehehe Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. has many times like some it can be about basic things like you said but sometimes I think it's more like a it's like I'm I'm dividing myself like I'm like like my heart's telling me this my mind's telling me this what should I do like sometimes eat like with food like let's say like I'm not gonna say sometimes I will I don't have the best self-discipline so I will yeah like if it's between a cheeseburger and a salad I might have to pick the cheeseburger I don't have the best self-discipline so

Tanya Franklin: Mm-hmm.

Mackenzie Purnell: It's like, do want to get better at that though. But like recently I've been doing pretty good. Like I've been, you know, eating like sandwiches and stuff. like, ⁓ like just like when it comes to stuff like that, I try to think like about like universe, give me a sign. Like give me, I always, that's the first thing I always do. I'm like, give me a sign. And then like, I always tell people like, I'll get back to you tomorrow. Give me a sign universe. And then sometimes I'll get a sign and it'll be like, ⁓ like, you know, this is a better option. I'm like, you're right. You know, I knew you was listening, but.

Tanya Franklin: Mm-hmm.

Mackenzie Purnell: And sometimes it's just me, I have to figure it out myself. And sometimes I have to choose the one that's better for me, like personally. Like if I know this one is better for me, I'm gonna have to choose it and the other option is just not that good for me. And I'm aware of that, I'm gonna have to choose the better option. Even if I don't like it, I still know that this is the option that I need to choose to get my life on the path that I wanna be on. So, cause you know, I think that everything is like aligned for me. So I like to think of it as if like, if I choose this path and everything is still going to be in alignment and everything is still going to be good for me. So.

Tanya Franklin: That's awesome that you're already thinking that way and you're not even 20 yet But that's awesome because I I try to remind myself of that as well where even if there might be a difficult situation That I'm facing or even difficult people sometimes that everything happens for a reason and as long as I stay the course and I'm not doing anything that is outlandish or

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: could be Detrimental to myself or even to other people then I feel like everything's gonna work out and I'm gonna be Okay, so I like that you're already thinking that way. That's awesome You know, sometimes I always think about that inner tug it can reveal who we want to be So even when you're looking for different signs That I find what's interesting is sometimes we can find What we really want

Mackenzie Purnell: No. Yeah.

Tanya Franklin: through different signs because then our mind locks into that. even something as simple when I was in the market to purchase a car and I was trying to decide, was I going to stay with the Nissan family? Cause I've had a Nissan since I've been driving, but just getting different ones. And then I just, something was like, maybe I'll get a Honda and boom, just like that. It seemed like I kept seeing Honda CRVs everywhere. ⁓

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah That's really how it is. Like once you start putting your mind on something else, it's like you start seeing it everywhere. It's like, ⁓ my God. Like.

Tanya Franklin: Mm-hmm Yes, and I feel like you know, that's the inner tug that's the universe saying okay, we're going to align the stars This is what you want. We're gonna put it out there for you so I mean and so I think also like I said with the idea of revealing what we want to be and I'm not talking about that cliche question. What do you want to be when you grow up, but the who you want to be and How you want to be recognized

Mackenzie Purnell: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Hehehehe ⁓ Mm-hmm. Okay, yeah.

Tanya Franklin: in life. And so for me, I want to be a person that I needed when I was younger. I'm not sure how much you might know about when I was younger, based on I'm not sure how much your mom shares, but I struggled a lot with self-esteem when I was younger, even into early adulthood. And a lot of times I would just feel depressed or even unworthy. And

Mackenzie Purnell: and Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: A lot of times it was masked by how I would just thrust myself into my studies. So I was always solid when it came to academics. And then one of my other outlets was rap. So even though I felt confident in that outside of that, I was always really shy. But those were my outlets to get me through when I would have dark moments or feel depressed or sad or just struggle with, ⁓ I don't even know if I want to be here and things of that nature. So

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: When I see someone struggling in that way, it tugs on my heartstrings and it's, never want anyone to have to experience that. So I'll often ask, am I building people up or tearing them down? Am I encouraging people, especially when it really counts or because I mean, we can't be a cheerleader all the time, but when it really counts.

Mackenzie Purnell: Yes. Yeah, you can't. Yeah, all the time. Yeah.

Tanya Franklin: Or am I chipping away at whatever motivation this person has left? I think about that a lot in my profession because this might be the last stop for someone or even the first stop. And if I don't get it right, they might not come back. I mean, that's a lot of pressure, but I still think about it that way. And it's one of the reasons I knew at a very young age that I wanted to be a teacher because I enjoy seeing my students thrive and reach their goals. So I'm wondering for you, I know this is

Mackenzie Purnell: Okay. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: I'm not I knew you mentioned sociology. I'm not sure if you've taken a philosophy course yet, but so this oh, okay. So then this is it. Okay. So this is a philosophical question. Who do you want to be or need to be?

Mackenzie Purnell: I took one last semester. I took one last semester. Okay, okay, Who do I need to be or want to be? think who do I want to be? I just want to be this person that's at peace. I want to be a person that's very at peace and have a lot of abundance in my life. I just really want to be like that. I've always noticed this when I was younger. Just kind of what you were saying when you were like, you you want to be someone for your childhood, like how your childhood was and you want to be like that person. I kind of like recognize that in myself as well. I do like, like even for me, like, I mean, I was, I mean, I wasn't the most secure, like seventh grader. Like I was very insecure when I was younger. I mean, I just didn't show it as much cause like it's easy to hide it. It's just not like, it's very easy to hide stuff. Like it was really easy. You just act like you have confidence. That's kind of what I would do a lot in high school. I would just act like I had this confidence. Like if somebody, you know, pressed me about something, I just have to act like I'm out it. No, I'm not about it though. But sometimes you have to act like you're about stuff so people know, like, okay, well, at least I know she brought it, but I'm really not. But sometimes you just have to, even me and my roommate were talking about this. Some, she was telling me how she was very insecure about her hair, because her hair was very short at the time. And she said every single day in the mirror, she would talk to herself and be like, you know what, I got this. Who cares who looking at my hair? And I really understood that with her. And even when you were talking about your different outlets, I feel like my outlet was like. I used to just write everything down and like in my little journals that I had or even just in my notes I would just write it down and just that would be my outlet for everything. I mean I just really want to be this person that's at peace with myself and just have a whole lot of abundance in my life and I really just want to be a person full of love. Like just I want people to just be like well at least I received this love from her and just this this overwhelming abundance from her. That's all I really want to be. That would be the best compliment for me. I would just be like, oh, thank you. So yeah.

Tanya Franklin: That's wonderful! Now help me out because I know of course what the word abundance means but it means different things to different people. What does that mean for you?

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. ⁓ I just think for me it just means more of like, just want like when people like be around me, I just want them to feel like, she just radiates this such wonderful energy and she just has like such like a nice like energy, soothing, calming. Like she's really just like very cool to talk to. Like I can talk to her about anything type of thing. Like that's how, and I feel like that's kind of like weird. Cause like right now I feel like I'm always very alone. Like I like to be alone. I don't know, I'm just a person where I love to be alone. I like to read a book and be alone. I don't really like to be able to talk in sometimes and that's really just how I am. Sometimes I just be like, I can enjoy my alone. I know I can enjoy it by myself, but sometimes I like to talk to people too.

Tanya Franklin: And I have news for you. We have that in common with the abundance that that's something that I hope for. And it makes me feel so good every once in a while someone will say that to me, whether it's someone who I connected with at the gym or someone at work or just even an atmosphere where a person has had an opportunity to

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: get to interact with me on more than one occasion to be able to say, you you, you really light up the room or you have this positive energy about you. And of course, it's not a matter of saying I need to be on at all times, but to be able to possess that, because I think that sometimes some people, their encounters can be so negative and the people that they come in contact with can leave such a negative.

Mackenzie Purnell: Yeah! ⁓ Yeah.

Tanya Franklin: experience with them. And I'll never forget one time, one of my students we were doing music is poetry. And so students were doing presentations on this. And the one student I'm not sure if you're familiar with the group Black Eyed Peas, but they had this song Where is the Love. And the part of the song talks about it's a cruel world. And the student was

Mackenzie Purnell: Yes. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: talking about how cruel the world is and there's not a lot of good people in it and I just got all teary-eyed in class. I'm like, do you really feel that way? And they're like, well, you you're nice, but most people are just horrible. And I'm like, ⁓ my gosh. And so when I and I'm sure she's not the only one who feels this way. And maybe I have rose colored lenses on, but I would like to think that there is more positive people than negative.

Mackenzie Purnell: Yeah.

Tanya Franklin: It's just that sometimes the negative people have a way of really just putting their claws in and so it makes me want to be even more of a light for people so that they can at least say that well at least I've I encounter one person who seems okay.

Mackenzie Purnell: Wait, Yes, like. Mm-hmm. Well, I, yeah. Yeah, like yeah, because I think like I think it's so easy to be negative like it's so easy to be like ⁓ this is ugly this is weird like this is it's so easy to be so negative and I feel like it's so hard to be very positive because sometimes people don't like to look at all the positivity in world like yeah this might be happening but look mean, look around the world. mean, we're still here, we're still breathing, we're still surviving, we're still keeping on in life, and people don't really think about that. They always just think about the negative. So I try to think about the positive, but I won't lie, the negative does come in sometimes. I'm saying I think it's...

Tanya Franklin: Mm-hmm. Yes, yes, I think for for all of us and and I think what's funny is we're talking about that tug that nudge sometimes you know because the nudges might push you in a direction but the tug is pulling you and I think sometimes the tug of negativity can get a hold of you and someone has that negative energy and they're trying to pull you in like I want you to be negative just like me.

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes, it's very, oh yes, oh lord. I've had many, I've had a friend in high school and I feel like she was like this. Sometimes, I remember, I'll never get this one time, was this one time we were at lunch and this one girl, she needed, she was thirsty, she needed a bottle of water. She was like, oh how much is the water? I said, oh $1, she didn't have it. So this time I was bringing extra water bottles because I would have my water or stuff, but I have an extra water bottle, whatever. So. I gave it to her, I was like, oh, here you go, you can have this one, I'm not gonna use it anyway, like my water's still pretty full. She was like, oh, thank you, thank you. And the girl next to me, I would never get this, she said, I wouldn't gave her nothing. I was like, I know. I mean, well, if you want this, I don't know, because you gotta push yourself in situations. Like sometimes it's not even about being negative or positive, it's seeing yourself in somebody else. If I was in this position, wouldn't I want somebody to give me a water bottle? So that's why sometimes it's more of me just being like, I see myself in her.

Tanya Franklin: Mm-hmm.

Mackenzie Purnell: And I know I wouldn't want nobody to deny me, so I do the things that I would want other people to do to me. And sometimes it will hurt my feelings when people don't do it to me, maybe, but that's the life I live, so.

Tanya Franklin: Yes. Yeah, I mean and I love that that's something that simple it might seem simple to you But you never know this ⁓ You know, I'm not sure if they were a direct friend or not or just someone you were at the lunchroom table with but Regardless this person may have told someone else, you know, I was so thirsty and Kenzie gave me some water man That was really nice to her because she didn't have to I mean, maybe they didn't say that at all But there's a possibility that they did and then they might have gotten a nudge

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: from you doing that and the next time they see someone in need and it might be something that's small might be someone who's just like ⁓ I don't have enough for the vending machine ⁓ man I just need one more dime and you're like ⁓ here you go and so it could be something like that you know but okay so you're in your let I mentioned this before you're not quite 20 you're in your last teen year and you have so many more years ahead of you but

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Yes.

Tanya Franklin: I'm wondering what are the things that you hope to do but haven't been doing because the nudge or tug just hasn't been strong enough yet?

Mackenzie Purnell: stuff that I haven't really been doing that I wanted to. I think I want to like get more into like, I feel like I want to get more into like yoga and stuff. I haven't, the only reason I haven't is really cause this dorm and I was like, what would my roommate think? Like, I don't know, sometimes I'll be thinking in my head like, what would my roommate think? I'm like.

Tanya Franklin: Mmm.

Mackenzie Purnell: And it's not that she's not interested in it. I remember we talked about yoga before and she was interested in it. But it was just like, what if she just woke up to me? Oh, nevermind. I mean, I do want to do yoga, but I also want to do meditation. So I think that it's not a weird one, but it's a weird thing to do. What if she's just like a middle night and I'm just, hmm. And it's just like, I was thinking of these scenarios in my head. was like, oh, she might think I'm.

Tanya Franklin: Mm-hmm. You

Mackenzie Purnell: strange or something. So, but sometimes exactly, but like sometimes we think other people may think these things, but if I were to talk to her about it, she'd probably be like, I don't care. And I'd be like, oh, like, yeah, but I do definitely want to get into meditation, yoga, more stuff that just connects me to my inner self and stuff like that, because I'm very like interested in stuff like that. And I definitely want to get more into doing stuff like that.

Tanya Franklin: Mm-hmm.

Mackenzie Purnell: I really want to start spending more time outside. I mean, haven't been able to do it recently because it's so cold outside, but I really do like spending more time outside and I want to do more like self dates. Like I feel like I was reading something one time and it was like a lot of people can't spend time alone. They have to be with other people and people can't spend time by themselves. And I really want to like be able to be like, well I can spend this time with myself. I can be alone. can, I'm comfortable with myself that I can go and do these things by myself. Like don't need somebody with me all the time. because I'm just so infatuated with myself that I can do these things.

Tanya Franklin: Mm-hmm. That's awesome. Now, let me ask you I want to go back to a few of what you said the first one with yoga Do you all have like a facility or a gym or something where you can go and you know? Bring your mat and stuff. I mean like because I'm just thinking about because sometimes we might look at certain things or people as Barriers, but there is a workaround like you were talking about the path will align so even if you like

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. We have, yeah. We do have those. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: I want to do it in the dorm room that there may be an area we can bring you a little mat or they might even have mats and you can go and Do your yoga or same thing for meditation as well with meditation. There's so many different types out there. I actually use a meditation app and so the one that sounds like you're talking about it's like with transcendental where you might have a mantra associated with it And so I know about that when I've practiced that one

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: Well, so I can also send you some things. But yeah, if you have your headphones in and things, I'm sure that you're yeah

Mackenzie Purnell: I used to do it more at home because I'm in room by myself so nobody can see me but it was a little different here. was like it's kind of different here I can't really just be you know.

Tanya Franklin: Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, I mean, I don't know your roommate, but, something I would also, yeah, yes, you never know. She might want to join one day or she sees, wow, you, you seem even calmer than usual. And it's finals week or something. And you're like, well, I've been meditating. And then, ⁓ because I know something at my college that every once in a while they'll have these different group sessions for meditation and

Mackenzie Purnell: No, she probably would be cool, but I just Mm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: for yoga and especially at the end of the semester when people are looking for ways to decompress, they will add to the schedule. So you never know. mean, I'm not trying to give you too hard of a nudge, but you might be the yoga meditation leader at your college. You have some skills with it. And then people are like, ⁓ no, Kenzie, she's really good at that. And they're like, Kenzie, when are you going to lead a session for us? So yeah, so you never know.

Mackenzie Purnell: Yes, I've seen it. Mm-hmm. No, I went to, I have one to ⁓ it was I think that like last semester I did like goat yoga. So I did go to that and that was good. That was really cool. Like they had the goat standing on your back. It was really cool. Yeah.

Tanya Franklin: Yes, they had this one, but I don't want I don't want to say I don't want to do it. I know what could potentially it's like you were talking about earlier how there are certain people you may not ask certain questions of because you know what they're going to say already. But there is something called puppy yoga. And there are these cute little

Mackenzie Purnell: No. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: puppies and they jump around and the reason that I cannot do that is because I will want to take one home for Zack to have a playmate and I'm like you know it would be an impulse where I want you to come with me Zack's gonna love you and so yes but it does look so much fun like I said well I know I'm not gonna bring a goat home so I can do goat yoga ⁓

Mackenzie Purnell: Hehehehehe Yeah. ⁓ Yeah, I know I'm not gonna try and get a goal.

Tanya Franklin: But even like the part about you saying something you want to do more with just going on dates by yourself. I think that's awesome that that's already on your mind at your age because sometimes people don't think about that until they get much older. It's I need to have someone whoever that someone might be and the someone that we need to have first and I didn't learn this until I got older.

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah!

Tanya Franklin: is us. We need to have ourselves first. And so I do go on occasional dates by myself. One of my favorite dates of choice is going to the movies by myself. I will say one of the drawbacks is that ⁓ when I was younger, I probably would have just been quiet and not talk to anyone. But now it's not like I disturb anyone. But at the same time, if something happens, like one time I saw a comedy

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: And it was a crowded theater. So the person next to me and we're laughing together and I turned to them. I'm like, wasn't that funny? And they said, yeah, it was. So that can be tough. Or I'm not sure if you saw the movie Sinners. I went and saw Sinners by myself. And so I was seated next to this other woman and there was a part, I mean, I don't want to talk too much about it on the episode in case someone's like, hey, don't spoil it for me.

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm. I did see that one, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: but there was that part where it got a little scary. And so I flinched and the person next to me did not. And I was like, wow, you didn't even flinch, you're brave. And they laughed at me. But I mean, even though I'm by myself, I think even that person was by themselves. And so I think that it's important to have that. And every once in a while I might go have a meal or something by myself or something else that I will say I do is

Mackenzie Purnell: Yeah. Yeah.

Tanya Franklin: I don't always listen to music when I'm going on a walk because I feel like music's wonderful, especially if I'm running and I wanted to help me stay focused. But sometimes it's nice to be with myself and nature because in being with myself and nature is sometimes if there are certain thoughts that are coming in my head and they're negative ones or they're ones where I'm trying to make a decision and

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: I'm at the crossroad, not having that distraction, I find that it helps me a lot. So yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mackenzie Purnell: I'm definitely a music person. I love music. So that will be a little hard for me because I don't know. I just like listening to something or having something to listen to. But sometimes I will be like, ⁓ listen, too much music. I gotta take this off. This is starting to get in my brain too much. Sometimes I know I need to decompress and get rid of it. This gotta turn off. So yeah.

Tanya Franklin: Yeah, I mean, it's it's it was tough at first and so I still listen to music of course if I'm running if I'm doing a certain activity or things like that, but it's gotten to the point where I started this probably about a half year ago now where I will drive in silence.

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: If it's a short distance, if I'm going to work, which is almost an hour drive, I'm listening to something, a podcast, music, something. But if I'm going to the gym, which is a little under 10 minutes away, I will purposely not listen to anything just to be with myself. So I think sometimes people might not even look at it as it doesn't have to be a formal date or anything, but just giving yourself that time can certainly help.

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. ⁓ yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: if you do have something tugging on you and you're trying to make a decision because I think that we have so many distractions that it can be tough.

Mackenzie Purnell: Yes, definitely. Yes, and this, we have a lot of distractions now. So I do think music can definitely, because sometimes I listen to music just to put the thoughts away, just so I'm like, okay, well, if I put this music on, then the thoughts are gonna be in here. But as soon as turn it off, it's like, the thoughts are back. So I'm just thinking and thinking and thinking. So I definitely will say music can definitely be a distraction that I sometimes do use if I'm like, I don't wanna think about this right now.

Tanya Franklin: Well, I will say to I don't want to leave music on a bad note so No, no, I was was saying no I was just saying that to be funny a bad note like my corny auntie joke But I will say that with creating that right playlist when I was training For the Spartan race and when I was training for the Broad Street run the 10 mile ⁓ race

Mackenzie Purnell: music is great ⁓ Yes. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: There were times when I might have felt like stopping when I got close to finishing and that one song came on that just kept me going. So, ⁓ yeah, definitely music certainly has its place.

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm. ⁓ that's definitely me working out. Yes. Because even yesterday when I was like doing, I think I did the treadmill yesterday and I usually do like the hill setting and then I'll probably do it for like 20 minutes, 25 minutes, depends on what it is. And like sometimes I just need some music to play. Like I need to hear something. So I think definitely when the right song comes on, think when the right song comes on, it definitely like just makes me work harder. Because sometimes though, yesterday, especially yesterday. I was gonna give up like a couple two times with the right song. well I said, let me start walking again.

Tanya Franklin: Good good that's awesome yeah yeah well I won't recruit you yet I'll give you a light nudge that you can come work out with me when you when you want to.

Mackenzie Purnell: ⁓ yeah, well I was going to ask you when I was going come back, like I was going to come back for break and stuff.

Tanya Franklin: Yes, absolutely. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, you can even, you know, join me and Quinn doing a class together. It could be a lot of fun. Yeah. So, okay. So some, you know, dogs, they don't just tug, but they yank. So here's one last question for fun. If you were a dog, what breed would you be and why?

Mackenzie Purnell: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I think I'd be a Greyhound because Greyhounds are very observant and they're very sensitive and I feel like that's me. I'm very observant and I can be sensitive at times. I think definitely like, and I don't mean to be sensitive in a negative way. I mean, cause some people make sensitive feel like it's such a negative thing, which I don't think it is. I think if you're sensitive, that is great. Cause you feel emotions very strongly and I think that is amazing. And I feel like sometimes that's me. When people tell me things, always feel like, sometimes I have to tell people like, please don't tell me that. I get, when you tell me, I start really feeling it. And so like, always, I feel like I'm very empathic. I always feel people's emotions when they tell me things. So, I feel like I'm definitely very sensitive and I definitely am very observant. I always like look around and I just like take everything in. Like I'm always looking, like I'm just like, ⁓ like, ⁓ that's cool. Like I'm always just viewing and seeing.

Tanya Franklin: Okay, good, good. I love the Greyhound too. I mean, it's ⁓ quite an athletic dog as well. So what breed do you think I would be and why?

Mackenzie Purnell: Yeah. ⁓ well, I don't mean on the athletic part. I was just talking about on the observant. ⁓ I when I like think about it, I think you would be a golden retriever I always see you as very warm and nice and kind like I don't know whenever I think about you I always think ⁓ she's so sweet and so kind like she's very nice person so I think when I think of you I think golden retriever like very warm very kind so yeah

Tanya Franklin: Thank that's actually the dog that Quinn said as well. So yes, quite a few people said golden retriever. I'll accept it because I love the golden retriever and you they're quite friendly. So yes, definitely. And so, you know, I'm so glad that you agreed to be my guest, Kenzie. I mean, just this conversation, I already knew it, but the conversation that we had, it's shown me.

Mackenzie Purnell: Yeah, very cute dogs. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tanya Franklin: how you have truly grown into a wonderful, well-rounded young lady. And I'm just so excited for all the directions that life has in store for you, because I already see wonderful things in store for you, which is amazing. yes, so, ⁓ absolutely. And to you, the listener, we occasionally need a little tug, so be sure to give yourself credit.

Mackenzie Purnell: Thank you so much.

Tanya Franklin: if you're still trying to find your direction in life. And I hope that I can nudge you to share this episode with friends and family. And while you're at it, please follow me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube at Tricks My Dog Taught Me. Until next time, when I get into week 15's poem, Sit and Wait, here's something to ponder inspired by my little guy, Zack the Toy Poodle, a mighty yank.

Mackenzie Purnell: He

Tanya Franklin: isn't always required. Often a gentle nudge is all it takes to steer others in a direction you're strutting toward. Take care and I'll see you next week.