TAMFERMABLES TV: and grace be unto all of you with love, joy, peace, prosperity and longevity from God our Father and from our Lord Jesus Christ. And welcome once again to the Good News Reporters podcast. Yes, with me, I am your host, Dr. Furman. Today, listen, it's exciting, a lot of mixed emotions. ⁓ Yeah, I want to get into sharing some emotions, but I'm here today while the Bible tells me that there's no greater love than the man who laid down his life for his friend, for his brother, for his family. This is what I want to do. Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. May God help us. But I tell you, talking about these stories. I'm going to change the names, but it still doesn't protect the guilty. So before I get into the subject, before I talk about it, want to kind of get up. I'm to get there. Yes, indeed. I'm going to get there. I want to talk about how I feel today. You know, all through life, people ask you how I feel. I would say, hey, hey, Fermin, how you doing? I'm OK. ⁓ never. probably, man, how you feeling, man? I feel angry. No, no, I don't do all of that. know, asking how you feel. ⁓ I'm okay. How you feeling today, man? I'm feeling good. I've got an L-minus- Well, I to talk about those feelings and emotions and how I'm feeling today. You know, ⁓ find me personally, I find that people, especially myself, I'm just learning. We don't deal with the power that's in all emotions because we don't express them. What do you think about that? But nevertheless, to get into my emotions and how I feel today. So I had to look up a list. You know, we have these smart gadgets these days. I might as well get a little more emotionally intelligent. Now I can say feelings. No, I want to deal with my emotions. Those feelings, man, those feelings, man, they're lingering. They're taking you some places. But the emotions, I'm going to deal with the power. of the emotions. And so I'm learning today to have maybe perhaps a better day if I understand how I'm feeling with my emotions. So check my anger, my anger. Yeah. I'm learning how to deal with that much better not to be outraged. Now, if I'm by myself, I won't be outraged. I won't be outraged with me. Now, getting around people sometimes can trigger you say some things, talk some things, do some things that may cause anger. So I'm not going to allow that to happen. I've been going through that a long time. I'm a Vietnam veteran. It doesn't give me an excuse, but I have some issues. So now also look at How I feel displeased is probably connected to my anger. I'm displeased about some things in life. Yeah, I'm going to talk about them because I'm here to tell the truth. I'm displeased with people, family. I'm displeased with some of the things my wife does. I'm not displeased with God. But those are some of my emotions. Now, if I linger on and let them turn into those feelings, got something a little different. But one of the things that keep me going is the joy of the Lord. That's my strength. So the joy, the enthusiasm about being here, I'm excited, I'm enthused, know, feeling very blissful, all those other things, ecstatic, whatever you want to call it. You know, we could feel a whole list of happiness. I can do that. But I want to learn more about the other feelings. I remember one story you told me of a young lady. She walked outside with her husband or boyfriend or something, and the kids asked their husband, pulled him to the side, why, why your wife so angry or why your girlfriend so angry? Some people just angry. They don't know why. Well, maybe if you tap in, might learn something. Yeah, that's how I feel today because I'm displeased about some things. So now going through the day. with my emotions getting a little more grip on them today. and to get a grip on my feelings a little more, be a little more emotionally intelligent so I don't dwell in my feelings. And this is in preparation to what's coming up, what I'm wanna speak about, the topic that's coming up. Well, the title is the seven years of in-laws, but the topic is grieving. Anybody deal with that lately? Grieving. ⁓ they don't teach it in school. Grieving. Well, that's what we want to talk about. Grief, dying, and death. No, it's not popular. It's not trendy. It's not trending. No. But it's a part of life. It's a part of who we are individually. and collectively grieving. Don't run. People want to run from it all the time. Don't run. That's your problem. Stand up to it and face it. Or are you a coward? Yeah, it hurts. Yeah, lot of things hurt. A lot of things hurt in life, but you cannot keep running from grieving. And I'm going to tell you reasons why coming up. One thing, you sling your hurt and you hurt people with your anger. And we're to talk more about that. That's one of the steps in the grieving process, but that's one of the things that has so many people bound all over the world. What is it? It's the netology, the netology, the study of grief dying in death. So I know this may hit some people a little hard, but even had a conversation with a young man and he understood, a young man understood you have to go through grieving in order to finish your process. So we're going to talk about that. I have some things that I like to share personally, you know, when it comes down to why I got to study Thinatology and what purpose does it serve? Well, some people go to grieving counselors and things of that nature. Some people just let it ride like it's going to go away. No. A little boy say, Nope. It's not going away on its own. You have to go through the process. And that's what we want to talk about, the process. Now, like I said, this is a book. I'm writing a book. It's not in order. It's in what God told me to talk about today and what I'm led to talk about today. it's, yeah, like I said, it's the grieving. And when I go back and I look, why did I start? What made this happen? ⁓ but before I go there, before I talk about why I decided to go into why I decided to get into the study of dentatology and how it is a great part of ministry. You know, I found out just recently, that's why I'm sharing my feelings. on how much I have invested my life in this. This have been since I've been home from prison, well, even in prison, you know, when I started the studies, like, way like that, 1995. So it was one day, you know, one day while I was serving at that time, I was in the state penitentiary up in Pennsylvania, and I received a box of books. One thing I would do, I do my best to get free books, you know, and so I would write for free books. And one day I received this box of books, about five, six books in it. And it came from Research Center. I love that, man. It was from Research Press Publishing, Research Press Publishing Company. And I started taking the books out of the box. The first one was multi- Multicultural society. ⁓ interesting. You know, it featured how our language, like it's changing now, and it'd be, nobody can stop it, no matter what they try to do. The Hispanic language, Spanish, well, it was Latin back then, but Spanish language, you know, it'd be a dominating force and a dominating language in days to come. That guy used to come, I don't know. But it was a book about multicultural society, everybody mixing in. And then there was one about conflict resolution. And it really dealt with teenagers. But if you look at some of these so-called adults today, wank, wank, Lord have mercy. But it was conflict resolution. And then one of them was spousal abuse. Ask me if I know about spousal abuse. I know some things about it. Like I said, it's my third time around. I know some things, but the book, it was a research book. I was able to gather some things. And then another one was effective communication. And these books was helping me to do some things. know, this was things added with, you know, to go along with the Bible because you still have to see, let me, let me say this here. See the Bible. It's the Bible. But then it's almost like you have to have the daily news to go along with the Bible. So to study these things were very important to me. And then the last book was Grief Dying in Death. I said, wow, I sat by the bed and it was, what's her name? Elizabeth Kuhler Ross. ⁓ Heavy study in this thing. So I started following her and what she studied. She's the leading. person, leading individual. Yeah, woman, what do think about that? So now Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, you know, she have all this information. So yeah, I go right in there and start getting this information. So that's why I want to talk about how I feel, you know, what my emotions are, because no matter where we at in life, somebody is going through some grieving. and you might be on the end of their grieving. Yeah, some of them very nasty. Look at the people in the markets. Why do you think there's so much conflict in the streets? Why? People lost things. That's pretty much grieving. When you lose something, it doesn't have to be death. Is death to what you lost? Where there's a quarter, ⁓ you've misplaced the remote control. Loss. How do you feel if you go to the casino and lose money? Don't feel too good. Can you express how you feel at that time? These are the things we need to know because otherwise we're going to continue to see society the way that it is. People grieving. Now we know all over the world. We lost some things. How do we feel? We lost lower prices, we? We lost some, but we're not going there. But no matter what you lose in life, you grieve. You ever thought about that? That's a part of who we are. So if a person is ⁓ very skillful at playing the piano, that's a part of who he is. Maybe he should go on and learn more about the piano. Baseball player, you hit that ball, little boy. Maybe he should learn some things about that. I'm just saying. So if you want to grow in who you are, find out where you're grieving at. It takes away some of your strength and it causes you to sin. That's what I said. Grieving causes you to sin. Now, and I'll repeat this, look out in society again. What you think they fighting for? Why you think they're arguing? Why you think, what you think? What you think? Come on now, can you think? Can you see? Well, those two mean that you understand there's some things in our society that are unresolved and it deals with every individual. I know you probably don't like what I say, but that's okay. My job is to tell you the truth, whether you like it or not. And when I go inside this book, The Lord Deeper, Yeah, it's gonna be exciting. It may shoot some flames up in some people, but you think I can? No, you're gonna get your deliverance if you need to. Well, all you gotta do is turn the button off because this is a heavy situation and I'm gonna feel the way I feel. I'm gonna express it the way I need to express it so you can get it. Like I say, I'm laying down my life. I'm telling you my story. Part of it anyway. But as a servant of God, It's part of my ministry to deal with people that are dealing with grieving. Now, I didn't understand why God would have me to study under ⁓ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in Thinanology. Like I said, she's the leading person. And ⁓ so when I came home, I had some more equipment. Now, you know I had the Bible. But I still had to deal with society. And the first ministry that God placed upon me, one time I thought it was the children. No, it wasn't teenagers. It wasn't the teenagers. It was with that thug pastor. He was down KNA. You know, KNA is where the heavy drugs, you see it all, Nate National News and how nasty and things. It's down there because of the drugs and, you know. It's nasty. But he was a thug pastor down there. He probably needed to be a thug pastor, especially down there. I haven't been knowing from the past. We won't get into that right now. But he had a lot of funerals. And someone told me to go up there and see such and such. I was so happy. What, you pastor and man? know, dappin' and all that stuff. But so, most of his assignments was funerals. Huh? So what I studied on the mountain about, you know, death, grief, dying, I had to, you know, man, there were so many funerals. I mean, like two, three, four week. Yeah, with that pastor, you know, he had funerals lined up. You know, he was doing so much funerals. You know, he was eating stuff on the road all the time. You know, when I was with him, I was glad to get that meal, you know, ⁓ because I was, you know, didn't have no money, still on parole. But under his leadership, I was there and I was learning. I had to minister to the families because they're grieving and stuff like that. Pray, you know, and, you know, there was times that I even, what do you say, had to minister in song, whether it was piano or singing or playing the drums at the funeral. even one time I preached my own funeral. Yeah, I had to do that because I was going through some things. Listen. I was facing some things, listen. But I was grieving. And I didn't know what to do with my grief. I didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't know what was going on. You know, but nevertheless. So I started to study. So I came home and like I said, the first one was that thug pastor. Praise God. Yeah, there was a young lady. She, we embraced one another. I was brother Furman, Reverend Furman. Dr. Furman and eventually dad, Elise my daughter, but she was going through some things when I met her. Now I didn't know that God had already placed it on me to deal with people who were grieving. And so the first young lady after the pastor, she had ⁓ lost her me mom, she lost her mom mom, you know, and amazingly she seemed like she's very strong. But one of the things we did do We channeled her energy and she learned to play the piano or a drum. She got dressed up in her vocal chords, opposed to not using that energy the right way. You get me? Yeah. Energy, no matter what grieving is still energy. How you gonna use it? So think with me for a minute. If they can take... ⁓ cow manure... and use it as fertilizer to make something grow, right? They use fertilizer to make something grow, right? Or they can take that same fertilizer, that manure, and make a bomb with it. They can take manure and make a bomb. You can make a bomb out of anything, really. long as it, well, we don't want to do that. But, you know, ⁓ when it comes down to energy. How do you use it? You know, like anger. You can feel the rage. That's energy. You know it's energy. Sometimes people tear up some things with that anger. That's energy. Turn over a car. Energy. Move dresses around. Energy. But what do you do with that energy? You can channel it. So with my daughter... Elise, we channeled her energy to play the piano. We channeled her energy to play the drums. She ministered. We channeled her energy. But now there was still family. And then she lost her brother. So that's my position. Now I'm in a position as dad. Now relating to her, if you say, in-laws in that family, it was something a little different. Nevertheless, because it was a different kind of family. She had a twin sister. and her twin sister grieved when the two of them separated. One wanted to go one way on the positive and the other one wanted to experience a little more. grieving. That young lady probably still dislikes me today because when we grieve, we're going break it down though. We want to blame people. Now, everybody that I have ministered whether directly or indirectly, guess what? Yup. They blame me. Now I'm ministering to people who are probably bipolar, tri-polar, choipolar, schizophrenic, whatever the case is, whatever they did with their energy. But I'm the one crazy. I'm the one that gets to blame. I've been wrong for 10 years, especially seven years. wrong about everything, Dr. Furman. Yeah, when you minister to people, they throw everything at you, especially when they don't want to accept the truth that someone died. Something they lost can't be replaced. Someone is in prison. Ask these what they call them, YNs. Why do you think the Y is acting like that? They lost their daddy. Even those that lose their daddy that's not in prison through death. You lose your daddy. My daughter lost her daddy. She trying to gain me back. I'm trying to gain her back because we suffered grieving when they separated me and sent me to prison. And 37 years, my daughter's still angry. She's coming out of it, praise God. I thank God for it. You know, it took a long time. But she's going through some other kind of grieving. But at least we can work on things, my daughter and I. That's my little biological baby. I ain't talking about Elise. I'm about my biological baby, Nanique. ⁓ so grief, grieving is real. It destroys relationships. It messes up families. People, I remember years ago, I say people, I remember years ago and I was always wondering why. Why do my family members always fight at funerals? Nobody understood what it was to grieve. Nobody understood what it was not to blame each other. Nobody understood what to do with their anger. Nobody understood what to do with their energy, but fight. I know a family now, they so tore apart, it's a shame. Grieving. And too stupid, I said it, too stupid to get the help they need and know they hurting. Who get the blame? shh, me. Dr. Furman. Ain't that something? So, grieving is real. It's a devastating thing, but it is a part of us. No matter what, you can't scrub it off in the shower. You can't do it that way. You have to go through it. Like the brother told me the other day, he danced with his daddy. And he went through it. And he made it to the other side. He was able to explain it like, like, man, you said it like that's because he went through it. Now he didn't necessarily talk about all the steps, but he talked about some of the experience, some of the feelings he was having, but he danced with his daddy. He went through it. Yeah, that's what Luther was talking about. Grieving. You got to go through it. No matter what, how you go through it, you got to go through it. Otherwise, guess what? You're destructive. You're evil, you're nasty, and you blame everybody else. I have one, you know, daughters. I have several kinds of daughters. I don't call them stepdaughters. Call them daughters by law. Daughters that the Lord give me. Biological daughters. Unknown daughters. But nonetheless, one of them want to destroy my marriage because she's grieving. She don't understand it. Been attacked every since I've been married. I'm tired of it. So I'm telling my story because I'm displeased, dissatisfied, don't like to feel like this, don't like to be triggered. I worked on my issues. I dealt with my situations. And when I was by myself, like I said, I didn't have to be triggered. I would not trigger myself, especially with immaturity. Now, I'm coming a little closer because I've studied these things. I've learned these things. God has blessed and multiplied my understanding in these things. So to all of you, because we're going into that seven years of in-laws, All of you, I'm not taking that no more. And if one of you hear it, that's good. Because I'm not gonna grieve no more, not like that. Not where you wanna think you can take away my intelligence, put me in a box. No, I'm not with that. I'm not embracing no one's culture. I left my own family's culture. I didn't go to my mother's funeral. Why? Because they were still fighting. I was on parole. If I would have gotten to fight with anybody in my family at the funeral, Guess who was going back to jail? Not me. I didn't need to go to no funeral. I didn't need to have closure. I had closure. She was dead. So, and that's for those who, that family culture, the Felder family culture, I won't name the other family, but the family, the Felder culture, no, I'm not with that. Sitting around sobbing and wanna fight all the time, blaming each other, can't get together, can't come together. Why? Because you're still hurting and don't realize it, or you're hurting, and just intentionally. Want to tear things up. Guess who you act like. You name the color. Yeah, he leads, he? Is he leading you to be so evil? What you're grieving? Because you're hurting. So, I'm getting this off of me. I dealt with this for the last decade. But it's part of the experience of understanding when you're dealing with people, that's why probably people don't want to deal with it. Yeah, remember those blueberry stains you laughed at? It's cute. Yeah, but... is real. You get blueberry stains when you go out into the field. People throw things at you. They call you all kinds of names. They want to scandalize your name. Next thing I know, I'm still Dr. Furman. They can throw anything they want to. Doesn't make a difference. Been under attack many times. Man, they still attacking. Why? I ain't done nothing to nobody. but told them the truth. What did apostle Paul say? Am I therefore become your enemy because I tell you the truth? Yeah, I became your enemy, didn't I? So now that's leading up to it and we're gonna stop here. We're going into, but I wanna leave you with this scripture before we go because this is where we're gonna start at when we get back in here. We wanna start at Jude. There's only one chapter. Jude is only one chapter and we're going to read verse nine and 10. And it reads as such, yet Michael the angel, Michael the angel, when contending with the devil, he disputed about the body of Moses. This is Durst. Dare not bring against him a railing accusation, but say, the Lord rebuked thee. But these speak evil of those things which they know not. But what things they know naturally as brute beasts. And those things, they corrupt themselves. Now you can connect that to grieving. But let's go up here talk about this. It says that Michael the angel, when he was rumbling, he was contending, he was disputing and fighting with the devil. Now, we ain't gonna talk about Satan yet. He used to be an angel, but he was fighting with Michael the angel. And he was disputing over Moses body so the angel pretty much is like listen Do what you got to do? But he said, listen, the Lord rebuke thee. That's the power. The Lord rebuke thee. Because let's see what else it says in 10. But these speak evil of those things which they know not. You still in my business? You don't know it. So you speak evil of it. You've been speaking evil of it since I've known you. Why? because you couldn't get what you want? several of you went through that, didn't you? But you speak evil of it because you cannot comprehend. You cannot understand something. So you want to speak evil of it instead of coming up, growing up, maturing up, instead of speaking evil of things. No, you're evil. Especially, hey, I'm a servant of God. Keep on speaking on me and watch. That's up to you. I ain't quoting no scripture. I know who I am. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But you speak evil of me. But what they know naturally, what you know in your flesh, what you know in your flesh. as a brute beast savage. Talk about savage yeah that's pretty nasty ain't it that's what they sell nastiness but that's how you act that's why you receive that kind of stuff a brute beast animal yeah humans are animals why did you say brute beast when you speak on things that you don't know it's God's business You don't want to help stay out the way. God will move you. And I'll pull that script up for you too if you need it. And those things, corrupt themselves. So if you think that anything you do is hurting me, you will find out in the long run that you're corrupting yourself. And anybody that want to go down with you, let them grab a hold of your leg. They can go right on down with you. Hey, but listen, hey, we got to get back to you. Once again, I hope you understand that I'm expressing myself and I feel pretty good. I feel pretty good about it and I gave it to you. So I hope, I hope and pray and hope to understand that you receive this in the spirit that the Lord has given me to give to you. These are the things I know. So when we come back the next time, we're going to keep on moving. Now, I'm not saying, here it is. Let me just say this here. We have the... The Thug Preacher, my daughter, these are some of the examples we want to use. We want to talk about an old buddy of mine. We're going to talk about my three wives, my three sets of in-laws. Lord, help me. And church family. But we won't forget some of those examples from prison and military. Yeah, well, there's a lot of things I learned there. But nevertheless. We want to come back and I'm going to come back. I want to share this stuff. Now I want to talk about this stuff. Like I say, the lay down my life. I want to tell a story. And if one person get one thing out of one thing that I said, I've done what I was supposed to do. The worth of one soul. So come on back. We want to continue this. This is episode one, doing my best to get all this stuff in order. This is episode one of the seven yard, the seven. the seven years of in-laws. So come on back. Well, probably next week. I hope they have all this stuff on time, but come on back. It'll be up there. Come on and join me. I'm doing better. Hey, hey, little more encouragement, some comments, some subscribers and some, hey, listen, whatever you do, we appreciate it. Take your time. I'm gonna keep on feeding. And I want, I want to reiterate this fact. our emotions are real and our feelings get us in trouble. So let us learn. God bless you.