TAMFERMABLES TV: It destroys relationships. It messes up families. ⁓ ⁓ I remember years ago and I was wondering why. Why do my family members always fight at funerals? Nobody understood what it was to grieve. Nobody understood what it was not to blame each other. Nobody understood what to do with their anger. Nobody understood what to do with their energy, but fight. I know a family now, they so tore apart, it's a shame. Grieving. And too stupid, I said it, too stupid to get the help they need and know they hurting. Who get the blame? shh, me. Dr. Furman. Ain't that something? So, grieving is real. It's a devastating thing, but it is a part of us. No matter what, you can't scrub it off in the shower. You can't do it that way. You have to go through it. Like the brother told me the other day, he danced with his daddy and he went through it. And he made it to the other side. He was able to explain it like, man, you said it like that's because he went through it. Now he didn't necessarily talk about all the steps. but he talked about some of the experience, some of the feelings he was having, but he danced with his daddy. He went through it. Yeah, that's what Luther was talking about. Grieving, you got to go through it. No matter what, how you go through it, you got to go through it. Otherwise, guess what? You're destructive. You're evil, you're nasty, and you blame everybody else. I have one, you know, daughters. I have several kinds of daughters. don't call them stepdaughters. Call them daughters by law. Daughters that the Lord give me. Biological daughters. Unknown daughters. Nonetheless, one of them want to destroy my marriage because she's grieving. She don't understand it. Been attacked ever since I've been married. I'm tired of it. So I'm telling my story because I'm displeased, dissatisfied, don't like to feel like this, don't like to be triggered. I worked on my issues. I dealt with my situations. And when I was by myself, like I said, I didn't have to be triggered. I would not trigger myself, especially with immaturity. Now, I'm coming a little closer because I've studied these things. I've learned these things. God has blessed and multiplied my understanding in these things. So to all of you, because we're going into that seven years of in-laws, All of you, I'm not taking that no more. And if one of you hear it, that's good. Because I'm not gonna grieve no more, not like that. Not where you wanna think you can take away my intelligence, put me in a box. No, I'm not with that. I'm not embracing no one's culture. I left my own family's culture. I didn't go to my mother's funeral. Why? Because they were still fighting. I was on parole. If I would have gotten to fight with anybody in my family at the funeral, Guess who was going back to jail? Not me. I didn't need to go to no funeral. I didn't need to have closure. I had closure. She was dead. So, and that's for those who, that family culture, the Felder family culture, I won't name the other family, but the family, the Felder culture, no, I'm not with that. Sitting around sobbing and wanna fight all the time, blaming each other, can't get together, can't come together. Why? Because you're still hurting and don't realize it, or you're hurting, and just intentionally. Want to tear things up. Guess who you act like. You name the color. Yeah, he leads, don't he? Is he leading you to be so evil? What you're grieving? Because you're hurting. So, I'm getting this off of me. I dealt with this for the last decade. But it's part of the experience of understanding when you're dealing with people, that's why probably people don't want to deal with it. Yeah, remember those blueberry stains you laughed at? It's cute. Yeah, but... is real. You get blueberry stains when you go out into the field. People throw things at you. They call you all kinds of names. They want to scandalize your name. Next thing I know, I'm still Dr. Furman. They can throw anything they want to. Doesn't make a difference. Been under attack many times. Man, they still attacking. Why? I ain't done nothing to nobody. but told them the truth. What did apostle Paul say? Am I therefore become your enemy because I tell you the truth? Yeah, I became your enemy, didn't I? So now that's leading up to it and we're gonna stop here.