Jennae Leisey: good. It's so good.

Carry On: ladies, ⁓ thanks for to chat with me today. Let's start Jennae ⁓ just off the bat, like you come from a long line of and first responders in your family. What was it like growing up with a Fire Chief dad? ⁓

Jennae Leisey: ⁓ He's got a very ⁓ interesting personality. My dad is, ⁓ you know, he's used to being chief. He's used to being in charge. And so kind of growing up under that kind of strict ⁓ atmosphere and high expectation atmosphere was a challenging one as a young girl, I would say. But yeah, I mean, it's... Yeah, it was definitely not a life that I, mean, outside looking in, looked like I sought this out, right? That I was like out there hunting for either a police officer or a fireman. And I can tell you, I actively chose not to, and it just kind of ended up finding me. But yeah, but I love it.

Carry On: Hahaha How was your, like, how was your mom? when, yeah.

Jennae Leisey: ⁓ my gosh. Just in general, my mom's a saint. My mom is a very, very tough lady. She is very independent. She puts up with a lot of shit, I would say. And I mean, she to this day is still my rock and my main source of support in life and motherhood. And the lovely thing about my mom is that she very, very clearly remembers

Carry On: ⁓ Welcome back, carry on FireFam. What can I say? It has been a little rough out here lately. First Responder World has been hit with just numerous things left and right. I feel like there's a lot of negativity, myself included, and just like a general icky vibe in the world altogether. So today I've got two guests, from the Thinline Collective, ⁓ who I'm can help us ⁓ change that.

Jennae Leisey: what it's like to be married to a fireman. And so even when my husband has his own little personality quirks, my mom's like, she recognizes it, sees it and knows how to support me through it. So it's really, it's lovely.

Carry On: Hahaha And then you've got military and police siblings.

Jennae Leisey: Yeah, you know, obviously fire police is an interesting thing, right? You know, my dad being a fire chief had this expectation that, you know, one of his sons, one of his four sons would, you know, join the fire service. But no, they all were military and were in various police departments after after military. So they crossed over to.

Carry On: we're going to talk about their why the collective, their lives as a fire wife and an wife and a former LEO herself, ⁓ and how we can really bring positivity amongst families of first responders back. Did that just kind of like, did that just stab him a little bit like? ⁓

Bre Spencer: I mean, that's the right way to go.

Jennae Leisey: ⁓ yeah, they always joke that they crossed over to the dark side a little bit, but yeah. The good side. They chose guns over hoses, that's for sure.

Bre Spencer: good side. Yeah.

Carry On: gosh, ⁓ a big jump, okay? For me, I don't know. ⁓ do you think the biggest difference is ⁓ versus then, like in the fire service, with your dad being chief and then you now being married to a firefighter, like what do you think is the biggest difference in the fire culture?

Jennae Leisey: It really is. It really is. I think mental health awareness is a big one. ⁓ Cancer awareness is a really big one. The socially acceptable family dynamic and including family and being very supportive of family is a big one. And it's not to say that when I was growing up that my dad didn't work for a department that was family first, right? ⁓

Carry On: Jennae is the wife of a firefighter, daughter of a retired fire chief, and sister of military and police officers. First responder life is all she's ever known and is what drives her to be the independent woman that she is. She's the mother of two wild boys and works in both construction as a residential project manager, as well as residential lending. She's passionate about restoring a positive outlook to the first responder spouse life and family dynamic. Bree is the wife to a law enforcement sergeant, mom of two boys, Mm-hmm.

Jennae Leisey: you siblings and I all got to be in the parade. My older brothers got to be, you know, Smokey the Bear, you know, walking down the street in the parade. But ⁓ I do think that there was this not necessarily family inclusive mentality, I would say, and it's definitely, ⁓ it was shove your feelings down, you know, you don't talk about it, you don't talk about the hard stuff. And then also, I mean, there was like little to no

Carry On: and a former law enforcement professional turned realtor. Drawing from her first-hand experience inside the first responder life, she's passionate about mental health within the first responder families. She brings a grounded real life perspective on resilience, balance, and supporting those who serve, both on and off duty. These women met bonding over shared life experience, positive marriages, the ups and downs of motherhood and beyond.

Jennae Leisey: PPE, mean, they didn't have anything really protecting them. Even to this day, my dad is deaf in his right ear because when they would drive around in the fire engine, him sitting in the passenger seat, the alarm is going off in his right ear and all the windows are down and that was 24 seven. And now he has the rest of his life with no hearing in the right ear. And that's just one example. My dad had skin cancer, he had prostate cancer, all of the things.

Carry On: Bree and Jennae came together to start the Thinline Collective to help create a community of support, and positivity for the first responder spouses. Because at the end of the day, although it is just a job of their husbands to everybody outside of this life, it affects so many aspects of their parenting, scheduling, careers, et cetera. And if any group of women need a community to lift them up, it's this one. So let's jump in

Jennae Leisey: they're definitely taking better steps now I would say to make sure that, I wouldn't say those things don't happen because I mean unfortunately cancer is a reality of the job but in trying to prevent you know it from getting worse or younger or doing whatever they can to help and support the firemen through it so yeah.

Carry On: Yeah, okay. Okay, Bree, I'm just gonna ask you straight up, what is it like to be married to a police officer right now?

Bre Spencer: Yeah. Well, let me correct you because he'll be mad if he watches this. He's a sheriff. He's a deputy sheriff, not a police officer. Very clear that there's a distinguish between that. I was actually a police officer, so.

Carry On: Sheriff excuse me. ⁓

Jennae Leisey: Yay!

Carry On: What is it like, okay, what is it like to be married to a sheriff? ⁓ Right now.

Jennae Leisey: Yeah.

Bre Spencer: Yeah, you know, actually, I, I, he's a phenomenal man. It's, it's actually crazy. Obviously we're like every other normal family. have issues and all of that, but it's, so fun to watch him. Like I tell people all the time he's been in for probably like 15 years now and he's still like this young, giddy deputy that's just like excited to do things. But now he's like in a sergeant role. So now he gets to like make everybody else excited about it that he does, but it's just, it's a lot of fun. It's hard. ⁓ Obviously a lot of tears, a lot of sad stuff, but there's also like lot of positives. ⁓ Obviously we've got two young boys, so kind of watching them kind of look up to daddy and we're like, we watched the sheriff Labrador show and now we just love it when daddy comes home with his police car. Police car, babe, his sheriff car. But yeah, you know, it's...

Carry On: Wasn't me this time, okay.

Bre Spencer: Yeah, it's the sheriff car. It's good. You know, I never thought that this would be the route I went. I was in law enforcement and I was like, nope, not going to marry a cop, not my thing. And then this angel of a human came along and he's he's one of the good ones. But I'm really blessed just to have him. He's he's a good cop. He's a good man. It's just I you won't you'll catch me saying negative things, but you won't catch me saying negative things. Yeah, phenomenal, dad. Online because he just he really is just all around and just being married to the and then this lifestyle is just

Jennae Leisey: Good dad too.

Carry On: Hahaha

Bre Spencer: It's a lot of fun with him.

Carry On: What was it like for you as a law enforcement officer?

Bre Spencer: Yeah, I mean, quite a bit different for ⁓ females in the career, right? So ⁓ only did four years. I had quite a bit of trauma in the short time that I was there. It was fun. It had its moments. think I did. I think now when I look back on it, ⁓ think God had been telling me that law enforcement wasn't for me, but he was telling me that ⁓ I'm here as a support person. And so I've kind of like leaned into that role more. And that's why I do these things with Jennae is because I've found that maybe law enforcement wasn't the route for me, but like being a spouse to law enforcement is, or being a mother with, you know, kids who are raised in that environment is, and being a friend to a lot of these people, ⁓ that's kind of the route that I found. But I mean, law enforcement is just a beast in itself. like, I loved the time that I did, the experiences that I had. I still have a lot of people that are like family from it, but it really does take a special person and that's not everybody. And it really takes a special family ⁓ to like rally behind. our law enforcement and all that. You'll hear me say law enforcement a because that's my side of things. know you guys are fire, but ⁓ it just really takes a special dynamic of people. And I'm excited that I had that route to be in law enforcement, but I'm even more excited that I'm able to now do this auxiliary side of law enforcement now as a spouse and support.

Carry On: Yeah.

Jennae Leisey: Mm-hmm.

Carry On: Do you think it helps you understand him better because you were part of it?

Bre Spencer: Yeah, no doubt. think and this is not to say that, you know, other wives who haven't gone through it can't be a phenomenal life. ⁓ But it's a lot easier for me to be like, shit, okay, he's stuck on this call. And maybe it's a nasty call. And maybe like, when he comes home, he's checked out. And like, I'm aware of that because I've been at those nasty calls or it's like, ⁓ okay, like he I can tell when he's like really stressed out and he's like a different man. And I'm like, I know some things off because I've been the different woman in, you know, following my stuff. So

Carry On: Totally.

Bre Spencer: It allows me to kind of like play a checks and balance with him and like recognize like, hey, something's off. I know that because I've seen that something off in me as well. And I think that honestly, I think that is what makes us stronger is I'm not like, I'm not an, I'm not, again, I'm not saying other wives are, but I'm not an overly needy wife. not like, ⁓ I need to be in your business. Like we don't need to text all day long. Like I know you've got work to do. I respect it. Like I'm doing my thing over here. ⁓ but I think like, honestly, both of us having that element in our lives, like

Carry On: you

Bre Spencer: he can talk openly to things like about things to me and it's not, I'm not the type that's like, ⁓ that's too much for me to handle or like, and again, I'm not, I wanna make it clear that's okay if you're like that. But in our relationship and our dynamic, I think it has actually helped us a lot and it has helped us a lot grow throughout, you know, his career, having ended my career and starting a new one and being a parent and all that kind of stuff, I think it's helped a ton.

Carry On: No, yeah. Yeah, and I think, I mean, when you say needy, doesn't mean it doesn't have to be negative. It just means like you can be needy, but you also need to understand that they still are working right. So we can be both.

Bre Spencer: ⁓ Yeah, it's just a different dynamic. This life is just a different dynamic. I see a lot of like social media and people can be like, well, my husband doesn't talk to me all day long. And I'm like, well, sometimes that happens. I know that because I've been stuck on calls where you are showing and dated with it. And so it's just like aspects of that where I'm like, OK, if he's not talking to me or if he's not responding, it's probably because he's busy and it's not because he doesn't love me anymore or anything like that. Yeah.

Jennae Leisey: Yeah.

Carry On: Yes, let's not take it personal, everyone. Okay, it's deep breaths, deep breaths. The police image overall right now, like we're in a crazy time. I I feel like we've been in a crazy time for a long freaking time. What do you like? What would you say to somebody who's new?

Bre Spencer: Yeah, exactly. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Jennae Leisey: you

Bre Spencer: for a long time. Yeah.

Carry On: who's, you new spouse and they're coming into this and they're like, holy shit. Yeah, like.

Bre Spencer: Yeah. Overwhelmed. Yeah. Don't watch the news as much as you can. ⁓ I also do think, though, that it's really important to be grounded in your friendships and your relationships outside of law enforcement. ⁓ Find people that you trust and that love you and support you that kind of take you out of that negativity ⁓ because just because

Carry On: Mm.

Bre Spencer: that's a reality and we see it on the media and all that. Doesn't necessarily think like majority of the people don't actually dislike law enforcement or first responders, right? You just always hear the loudest and the loudest are always on the media. And so I think if you're grounding yourself with people who are removed from this line of work because they tend to get negative because they hear all the negative all day long. I think if you find people that will support you and can like bring you back to reality, it's a really beautiful place to be.

Carry On: Mm-hmm.

Bre Spencer: ⁓ Yes, we have this side and we do have the reality, know, like if our first responders go out and like something bad happens, maybe they're on the media, maybe they, you know, die in the line of duty, whatever that looks like. I pray never, but it's reality. But you also need to have this other side that's like, there are still good people out there. There are people that love you. There are people that are going to support you and really lean into those people. And I think that could help a new wife ⁓ because it is hard. And you may have a spouse that is on the media. I was on the media and you may have to work through that. And those things are hard to navigate, but as a whole, would say that society actually does support us. They're just not as loud. So make sure you find the people that are willing to be loud for you.

Carry On: I love that. ⁓ Jennae, why do you think women specifically, like in the first responder realm, are always looking for community? Like, feel like and maybe because I'm in this community, I feel like there's every time someone says, you know, comments and says, like, my God, where have you been all my life? It's like, ⁓ are you looking? I don't know. But why do you think like feel like us specifically, those responder families are really looking for community? online, ⁓ in person, like just in general.

Jennae Leisey: You know, I think that ⁓ we don't realize until we talk that our experiences are so shared. You know what I mean? And that realizing that we have a shared experience is so validating to your frustrations. ⁓

Bre Spencer: you

Jennae Leisey: You know, there's so many people who outside of our life just refer to our husbands job as just a job and like, you know, and they're right. I mean, they're not wrong. It is just a job. But at the same time, there's not very many other. careers, jobs that have such a domino effect to your family around you. Our own careers, our own parenting, our own day-to-day life is impacted by this career that they have chosen. And so there's a lot of feelings of resentment that can happen if we don't communicate with each other, if we don't even laugh over the silly things. A common thing that firewives laugh about is day one.

Bre Spencer: .

Jennae Leisey: is you don't schedule anything on day one because they're coming home, they're tired, they're grumpy, know, whatever. Little things like that, even just saying that to another fire wife, they're like, ⁓ yeah, been there, always been there. And feeling that is just that sense of validation makes you happy again. I don't even know how to describe it. It's just that shared experience is just...

Carry On: You

Bre Spencer: you you you

Carry On: Yeah.

Jennae Leisey: finding positivity, to be honest.

Carry On: Yeah, it's just a way to really like feel seen and realize, ⁓ I'm actually not crazy. Like this is totally normal to feel this way. Yeah. Yeah. It's so interesting to me because I don't know. I guess there's no auxiliary clubs anymore. Right. Like there's not a lot of I guess that's how the spouses used to do it before is like form an auxiliary club within the department. And that's how the spouse is kind of connected. And they don't

Jennae Leisey: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. you

Carry On: do that anymore, right? We don't have that. I don't see that anymore. Is that, do you guys have anything like that within your departments?

Jennae Leisey: No, I think we're just...

Bre Spencer: you

Jennae Leisey: No, no. And I think that's why we're kind of like left to figure it out ourselves, right? Like we're left to kind of figure out to create that village. And one of the reasons why Bre and I, you had kind of, I would say joined forces as ⁓ it is to really help create that village for ⁓ women that sense of community, that sense of sport, that sense of understanding ⁓ within group of women who just get it, like who just understand.

Bre Spencer: I got a lot of opinions on this one. I think there's a dynamic in like

Carry On: Yeah, Bre what do you think is lacking in like the bridge between first responders and their home life?

Bre Spencer: Having gone through an academy, when you go through an academy, you're like bred to believe that this is it, this is all you are, focus on this, everything comes after. And I think we're missing the element of like where a family fits in that. ⁓ I think that keeping like the nuclear family together is one of the most powerful things that we can do just as a society. I think we're just a healthier society if we have families that are staying together. But honestly, I wouldn't even say that it's just law enforcement completely or first responders. I that's just society as a whole that we don't put enough value on a mother and a father household. And I can say that I came from a single parent household. My mom did a phenomenal job, I think. ⁓ But I think that there's this just disconnect where it's like, no doubt, you guys need to be on top of your game. Let's rock and roll, know, life or death. Your mind needs to be in the right place. But there's like this element we're missing throughout all of it, throughout the academy, throughout your getting hired on your agency, throughout your agency, throughout your career, where it's like, my wife, my kids, my husband, my kids are just as important as this career and it needs to come first before that. We don't have that and I think that's what's missing. And I don't know how we fix that. I don't know if that's bringing more spouses in. I don't know if it's like, hey, come see what I do. I don't know how we fix that. But in my mind, there's that disconnect is like, okay, we have our cops here. We think they're great. But like, we're going to keep the families a little away. And I think that it could be much more powerful if we're a part of this and we feel like we're a part of it. ⁓ But we're not most of the time. There are some agencies that have spouse groups. Like there's one county that's close to us that has like a really big spouse group. I there's a lot of drama in it. I don't know if that's like something that's we're running into is that we're finding out there's drama. Obviously like think we all know First Responder Life is like high school is what it feels like most of the time. And so I don't know if that's also part of why we don't.

Jennae Leisey: you

Carry On: Totally.

Bre Spencer: like engage in it because we're like, we don't want the drama. But I know when we created this, when, you know, Janae and I have been working this, like, my number one thing was like, I don't, I don't need drama. I don't need a specific agency going after it with another. I don't need that. Like, we're really here to support people. And if that's how we do it, then that's how we do it. Maybe it is an agency specific. Maybe when you get too many people at the same agency in one room, that's what creates the issues and the department doesn't want that. I don't know. I've never been admin, so I don't know. I'm not married to admin yet. One day I'll know, right? But that's where I think that disconnects us is that we're not, we teach our cops like this is it, this is the most important and then we kind of keep family at bay for whatever reason and it needs to be, like it kind of needs to be reversed. think we need to put more focus on our families and then the job can come after. And I will say like my husband's peer support and he's really big on that. And like he was just telling me the other day, he's a Sergeant of a really young team. And he told us guys like, if your family calls you and needs you, then go. Like I'll figure it out. Like I'll cover your beat, whatever that is. And he's like, again, he won't hear me say anything negative because he is a great guy. I'm like, I wish more sergeants had thought like that. Crap, this is where the importance is, is this. think, I'm not saying all cops. I'll preface this with all this because I don't want people to get offended. But I will say, most of your good cops are going to have really strong home lives. And most of your cops that are going down a really rough patch of drinking alcohol or drinking drugs, whatever that may be. are likely having a lot of issues at home. And so I think if we focus on that, if we focus on our families more, you're going to see more good cops and it's going to go back into the community in a better sense. So I don't know how we do it, but we're working on it. circle, yeah.

Jennae Leisey: Thank It all comes full circle. Everything comes full circle. I said it kind of jokingly that a happy wife is a happy life and that's one of the reasons why we did this. But truly, our spouses at home, if these men can come home to happier homes, it all just is full circle. My, it's interesting what...

Bre Spencer: Yeah. goes back into the community.

Carry On: I completely agree with you.

Jennae Leisey: Bree had even said was that the unsolicited advice I give to new firemen is always don't look at this career as wholeheartedly separate from your family. Everyone's gonna have their career, their job, but truly try to do everything you can to not shut your family out because if we aren't included in the positive aspects of your job and the only things that we see are the negative, it's you stressed out, PTSD,

Bre Spencer: Yeah. Yeah.

Jennae Leisey: you're tired, you're angry, you're coming home and that's the only thing that we get. Of course there's going to be resentment, course there's going to be frustrations, of course you're going to have an unhappy spouse at home. ⁓ But adversely I tell the women, I'm like, hey if there's any opportunity that you have to go to the retirement dinners, the crab feeds, the station to go visit your spouse, they're working on holidays, do what you can to be there for them on holidays.

Bre Spencer: Yeah.

Jennae Leisey: always do Christmas parties and that kind of thing. And sometimes you might be socialed out, but at the same time, it's like being able to see your husband in the joy of the job and being able to experience that joy with them is so huge. And it really does help that whole family dynamic, because everything does come full circle.

Bre Spencer: Yeah. ⁓

Carry On: Yeah, I used to go to the socials to be social and now I go to the socials to be with my husband. There's a huge difference, right? Like, and I'm not anti-social at the social, but I'm not there for everyone else. I'm there to support my husband. And I think like, like you said, like if more people take that approach, like go visit your spouse, like go visit your law enforcement officer, your firefighter, go visit.

Jennae Leisey: Yeah.

Bre Spencer: Mm hmm. Yeah.

Jennae Leisey: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Carry On: Them you're not there to know show face for everyone you're to support your partner ⁓ and is I mean like ⁓ You I work my husband and travels with me sometimes because he wants to be with me not because he wants to go work with me He wants to see me right? the same concept. It's like ⁓ and I think interesting what you because ⁓ Like Bre you made valid when you said, you know when they go through

Jennae Leisey: Yeah.

Carry On: the academies, they're very much taught like, you must do your job, your job is number one. Okay, if your job is number one, what am I, right? Like if you set them up like that, it's doomed for the family. If you don't say like, hey, your job is your job, but you also have a spouse at home that you need to take care of and you need to lock in when you're at home. That is the key piece I think that's missing. I think you totally nailed it.

Bre Spencer: Yep. Right, Yeah.

Jennae Leisey: Mm-hmm.

Bre Spencer: Yep.

Carry On: I think ⁓ there like element to also when, they say like, ⁓ leave your job at home ⁓ sorry, leave your job at and leave your home at home. That's not true in this line of work ⁓ at all. And I don't, I I don't think there, there's certain ⁓ jobs you can disconnect pretty well, not like when you're in close quarters with somebody for a really long period of time, ⁓ what are you going to talk at work?

Jennae Leisey: Mm-hmm.

Carry On: You're not talking about work for a 48 hour shift. You're talking about your kids. You're talking about your wife. You're talking about your partner, know, whatever, all those things. You don't leave your home life at, at home. You don't leave your job at home. And I think like with the mental health thing, especially too, you have to bring your job home. Now you have to be able to talk about it with your spouse because they have to understand you at work because you're bringing that.

Bre Spencer: Uh-huh.

Carry On: home, even if you say you're not, you are. And if we don't understand why and we don't understand why you don't want to communicate today and you need to take a nap or like you are completely checked out because we don't know what happened at work, we take it personal and that just leads to just more garbage piled on to us not understanding what the hell is going on. Right. So it's always like an interesting

Bre Spencer: Mm hmm. Okay. . .

Carry On: like dynamic, trying to figure out how we can get like the administration to understand like, this is not like 1950 anymore. Like, sorry, you know, like I'm, I'm, I don't want to discredit the spouses who came, you know, before us because they did a hell of a job and they didn't know any better. But now that we know better, I think we have a duty to fix the problem.

Jennae Leisey: Yeah.

Carry On: at least contribute to the betterment of the job and without pissing everyone off, right? That's all it is. the fine line when we walk is like, no, I'm always like, you know, we, and a lot of the spouses that you see out online and stuff get shit on a lot for like, ⁓ you're just a wife, shut up. Like you don't know what you're talking about. And it's like, I do know what I'm talking about actually, because he's been in the service for 20 years. I've seen his moods. I've seen all the shit that he's had to go through.

Jennae Leisey: My line.

Bre Spencer: That's the hard part, yeah. Yeah.

Carry On: and I'm the one that's helping him at home. You're not, you know? And prior to peer support and all of those things, like, we are the ones that get the shit. And then no wonder why we hate you. We hate the department. We don't want to be around anybody because we don't trust you because you're not taking care of our partner, right? And then we have to do it all. And the resentment builds and there's just, you know, there's a lot. So I think it's like breaking the stigma of like,

Bre Spencer: Right.

Carry On: ⁓ you're just a wife or you're just a spouse, right? It's like, no, hold on, back up. And also like letting administration understand like, no, we do know what we're talking about. You'll get to let us in a little bit. Just a little, just a little. But with people me and you, ⁓ more we talk about it, ⁓ ⁓ can get to a positive place where it's like, wait, these people do know what they're doing. And yes, they can help us. And this is great. ⁓ And I it's interesting with you two, especially because fire and know, ⁓ there's obviously a lot of jokes ⁓ in the...

Bre Spencer: Just a little, yeah.

Jennae Leisey: little. Mm-hmm.

Bre Spencer: Okay. . you

Carry On: in the first responder world about like who's better police or fire but when you kind of like sync them together it's such a unique perspective because you're really just full scope and that's that's pretty cool

Jennae Leisey: Yeah.

Carry On: Tell me how you guys met and like how you see like your ⁓ partnership pushing ⁓ the into like a positive space.

Jennae Leisey: So I'm gonna say how we met. I stalked Bre online, like repeatedly. She was a panel for the Placer County Association of Realtors ⁓ I was like, she knows what she's talking about. She's ⁓ fantastic. ⁓ then in seeing, I joined one of her Facebook groups ⁓ is a first responder Facebook group.

Bre Spencer: I love it. I love it.

Jennae Leisey: And just seeing her passion and realizing that we had this mutual shared ⁓ hope in helping women and building up women and being supportive to women, I was just like... quietly obsessed with her on the sidelines. I just, mean, the thing about Bre is that Bre truly in her heart really, really wants to support women around her. And she started doing some of these kind of small meetups, you know, once a month, once every other month, just to try to get women together. And I knew that, and I had come up with the initial idea to do like a bigger

Carry On: I'm

Bre Spencer: I feel the same.

Carry On: You

Jennae Leisey: event and having kind of that sound, soundboard between the two of us being a fire wife and being a police wife and like there's no one else I'd want to do it with than with Bre because A, I that she had a heart for it but B, I she's rad so I knew that it was gonna be fun.

Bre Spencer: Yeah, Jennae is a, and I'll hyper up a little bit too. really nice because I find, I have found that like the events that I hold, I usually get like maybe five to 10 women and I've got like

Jennae Leisey: Yes. ⁓

Bre Spencer: 300 we have like 300 people in the group But they always get the same feedback and it's that they're always scared to come and I never want that to be the thing and so like when I met Janae she's always been like very comfortable and like very inviting and she's very like just herself Authentically herself and if there's anything that like I want to associate any part of the group with or myself with this is that we're all super authentic to what we need and what we believe in all of that and so when Janae came to me about this I was like, yeah, let's rock this I'll change the whole group like We'll make it all about this because I believe that we're bringing, I believe we're bringing something to these women, to our women, to this family that they need that they don't have. And like, who better to do it than someone who's like ready to rock and like super authentic and doing it. And that can bring people in and get them connected without it feeling like pressure. And I don't know why the wives feel pressure. I don't know what about it makes them like nervous to get with other wives. I don't know that yet. We've been doing this for a while, but I haven't really figured out what it is.

Jennae Leisey: Thank

Bre Spencer: once they start coming, I notice that they're fine and then they'll come to more things and then they're more comfortable. And like that's essentially what I just want. I just want women to be comfortable in what we're doing. The people that are around and want them to feel supported. If at any point it's like, no, no, we're not feeling supported. Like something's wrong. Like we're fixing it quick because I need, I need, we need these women to have somewhere to go when they need help. And we have that. And it's really nice in the group. Like if you scroll through, you can see those women posting, I need help with this. How are you guys coping with this? So on and so forth. it's like, thank God we have that because law enforcement, I don't know fireside technically, but law enforcement, have peer support to go to if they need it, right? What do the wives have? We don't have a peer support team to go to. And so essentially like, Jennae, want like, Jennae asked me to do this and I'm like, yeah, feeds right into what we're already doing. Like we're going to be peer support. We're going to create these events. We're going to be around the wives. We want to support them in any way we can. And so she's just been. I loved working with her. But yeah, so it's just been really cool to work with her and like putting this all together. I'm super excited to see like, where go with it.

Jennae Leisey: been so fun because both Bre and I obviously work full time and then have our littles and so, you know, in typical working mom fashion, you know, we're texting each other at ⁓ nine, 10, 11 o'clock at night and like making plans for like whatever we're talking about or whatever we're doing or whatever. ⁓ it's not too often that you're planning events at, you know, 11 at night, but she gets it and I get it and it's how we're doing it. Right? ⁓

Bre Spencer: 10 o'clock, yeah. Over here. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and then even today I was like in true first responder family fashion. My husband told me last minute that he's not going to be home to watch. have to. And I'm like, OK, I guess we'll just rock with it. We'll figure it out. He's been pretty good so far. The other one's napping. But yeah, like, we'll just make it work because this is is authentic and this is reality to what we deal with.

Carry On: That's pretty standard for a mom, yeah. Totally. Yep.

Jennae Leisey: Just rollin' it. Yeah.

Carry On: This is what we do, right? We just, make it work. We make it work. ⁓ Okay, tell me about the in-person event that you guys are having in April.

Jennae Leisey: Exactly.

Bre Spencer: Make it

Jennae Leisey: So we are having an event on April 12th in Loomis, California and we're super excited. We're just bringing in as many fire wives and police wives as want to come in. We've already had a handful of sponsors reach out for us for monetary donations, some baskets, some fun stuff for the women. But ultimately the goal is, and and I are gonna be speaking and kind of telling our story and kind of sharing our why and gathering these women together, but it really is a... conscious effort to provide just a fun event for our fire spouses to be surrounded by other women who like I always keep saying it's just like we just get it we understand you know and We're going to have dinner and drinks and music and we're going to have some fun social things to do but ultimately it is what you make of it kind of thing. So we're hoping that it becomes a girls night for some and then for some that are coming solo, we've got a lot of women who are coming by themselves, then it's their opportunity to make friends within this community as well.

Bre Spencer: Yeah, I think one of the other things that I'll add on there and when Janae and I talked about this is that I've been to a lot of like

Carry On: you

Bre Spencer: first responder, like spouse with seminars. And I think they're all phenomenal. I always have something to take away to be a better spouse to my husband, but they're always so heavy on like, how can we support our officer? Or how can we support our first responder? And again, a ton of value in that. we're again, we're go back to missing that element of how can we be supported because we're just as important as our spouses, right? And sometimes we lose that as moms and as wives, we're like, ⁓ okay, well, I'm kind of important too over here. Like, you know, I'm raising kids. supporting my husband, some of us are working, some of us are stay at home moms, which are just as hard, if not harder, like all of it is hard. And so I feel like we lost that element when we started getting into seminars about how we can support them. And so when Jennae brought this up, it was like, Hey, I want this to be only about spouses. I don't want us to be up on a panel talking about how we can help them. I want to know how we can help the wives because that's, that's who we're here. That's who we're here to support for. Like that's, that's what I want this to be about. So

Jennae Leisey: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Bre Spencer: I want it to be heavy on that, that like, if anybody is listening and interested and in the area, like we are here to support you. If you need assistance on how you can support your officer, your firefighter, whatever that is, we can give you those resources, but this is something for you and only you. I like, we're really excited to bring that to everyone and just have a good time.

Carry On: That's huge. That's unusual, but awesome. And then if the if anybody wants to get tickets, you have a link on your Instagram, right? Okay.

Jennae Leisey: you

Bre Spencer: Yeah.

Jennae Leisey: Correct. Yeah, we've got an Eventbrite link in our bio that they can go and they can grab tickets.

Carry On: Awesome. Okay, I ask everybody on the podcast this question. ⁓ Janae, you're go first. Don't think too hard. What do you want your legacy to be for your kids, yourself, your family, your life? What does your legacy look like? Yes, Bree gets time to think.

Bre Spencer: Yeah. Let's

Jennae Leisey: ⁓ my gosh, that one's heavy.

Bre Spencer: That is heavy.

Jennae Leisey: ⁓ You know, I think I, as a boy mom, realized they don't have sisters as any kind of like influence and so there's a lot of example I set for womanhood for them and ⁓ I am a working mom again. I mean, I never discredit stay-at-home moms because I could not be one. I always wanted to be a working mom. ⁓ I mean, there are some days where I'm like, I'd really like to stay at home, but you know, either way. But ⁓ I do want to be a good example to my sons. I want my legacy to be them seeing what kind of woman they would want in life.

Bre Spencer: No, I have to do this, yeah.

Jennae Leisey: And knowing that I made a positive impact, I didn't just do the bare minimum that I really fought for positivity, that I fought for this life that I'm living right now and having them have a better childhood and them having potential future careers, whether it be in fire or anything, but really paving the way for them to have better families in the future ⁓ and ultimately. Yeah, I just want to be a good example to them. I just want to be a good mom. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks.

Carry On: I love it. Okay, Bre

Bre Spencer: I think you are. You are already. ⁓ I'm a boy mom as well and we're not having any more so I'm strictly a boy mom. I love it on this side. Sometimes I wonder if I should have tried ⁓ for a girl. I don't know. But I think I would agree with Jennae That's a really beautiful way to look at it. It is a kind of different dynamic because I do want my boys to powerful women that they look up to. They support all of that stuff.

Jennae Leisey: Dun dun ⁓

Bre Spencer: But I think most the legacy that I would want for actually just my whole family is that I just want us to be kind and give a lot of grace where grace can be given. ⁓ My husband like always makes jokes. He's like, ⁓ you're always using the word grace. I just don't think we give it enough to people. And so I want my boys to always be kind and be grace. And they always, I always say this, people will always be like, ⁓ your boys are so beautiful. And ⁓ I agree, but I always with it and really kind. because I want them to be beautiful on the outside, but I also want them to be beautiful on the inside. And so I hope my boys are kind. I hope they've watched their parents be kind and graceful when we can be. And in the moments when you can't, you also have to be that too. And you have to be strong in that and believe in those things. Like people may have a different view than us and we can still respect them. We can still give them grace where they need it. And so I just want that for just actually my whole family, grace and kindness when it can be warranted.

Carry On: I love that. My gosh. ⁓ Any final thoughts, ladies?

Jennae Leisey: Yeah, I love that. Just be kind to your first responder spouses.

Bre Spencer: No, I've been... We're just surviving out here. No, we thank you for having us. Yeah, we thank you for having us. think we're unique group of women and I just really want everybody to support each other where we can and that's why we're doing this. And so we have podcasts like this because people are kind of needing to find support.

Carry On: Seriously, ⁓ my god. ⁓

Jennae Leisey: You're surviving.

Carry On: We're out here drowning, okay.

Bre Spencer: Even if it's not one on one, it's watching a video and that works too. However, we can reach people I think is important.

Jennae Leisey: Mm-hmm.

Carry On: Yeah, and I truly wish that those like Facebook groups and all of those groups were not so toxic. Cause then it would, mean, it be helpful. I don't know. Like just my two cents.

Bre Spencer: Yeah. I follow some of them because it's almost comical sometimes the stuff that I see and I'm like, ⁓ gosh, this is why they don't want spouses involved guys. That's it. Relax. It is. I get it. I get it. I'm like, just stop. Take a breath. Come to this side. Come to our side. We're going to be kind and we're through it.

Jennae Leisey: Yeah. Yeah.

Carry On: It's kind of true. You kind of got a point there, Bre.

Jennae Leisey: Like you're the reason!

Carry On: Yep. I gotta get out. I gotta get out. Yeah. Oh, so bad.

Jennae Leisey: Yeah.

Bre Spencer: Okay, go.

Jennae Leisey: It sucks you in so easily, because you just have to ignore the comments, but you want to comment back so bad. Sometimes I do it just for fun, but you Yeah, exactly. Let's just add fuel to the fire just for fun. Yeah. Keep it spicy. Keep it spicy. Yeah.

Bre Spencer: It does.

Carry On: you're just like yes totally I'm like ⁓ let's do some drama today let's get some exactly I'm and then you're like ⁓ I regret regret regret regret ⁓ gosh yeah ⁓ okay thank you so much for hanging out with me you ⁓ you two are just absolute gems ⁓ if you want to learn more about the thin line collective they're on instagram at

Bre Spencer: My life's a little boring. I need more za. Yeah.

Jennae Leisey: Absolutely.

Carry On: Thin underscore line underscore collective. I will tag them in the show notes and also on my page. ⁓ I'm just, you know, I love this. I'm excited for you guys. really hope your in-person event is amazing. ⁓ I'm gonna try to come.

Jennae Leisey: Thank you. Thank you. Please ⁓

Carry On: All right, ladies. ⁓

Bre Spencer: Thank